I hate the unknown
\\ Tuesday, June 17th 2008 \\ Comments (0)
I think I'm in the clear tonight but I'm not sure. You see usually the night before a particular meeting, I'm way behind. I'll look at the clock at 2-3am and not be where I want. I'll do the calculations in my head: how much do I have left? can I get it done in time? if I don't get this done by this time I'm screwed. Then, the heart starts beating and the panic sets in. Everyone is asleep; its just me and my thoughts. Hello Anxiety. Sup Depression.
Its funny how my intentions were good. I wanted to start on this 2 days after the last meeting. I wanted to do this in Pennsylvania. I wanted to start on it Saturday morning. I even wanted to start on it this morning at 8am, then 10am, no 12pm, maybe 2pm?
I finally was freed up to start at 3pm, then I had to run into work for a 4pm meeting, back by 5:30pm.
Then the thoughts came in, man if you just started at 8am like you wanted to you'd be done now. You'd be able to kick back, rock out some more code, and go to bed at a cool 2am. Life would be good Luke.
So here I am mid-way. Not as bad off as I could be, not as good off as I want to be. Did I screw around the last two weeks? No. Too many fires. Every day a new fire and an new thing that requires attention. Did I screw around today? No. 8am, people are working and people call non-stop. Can't ignore the emergencies, or the day-to-day tasks. I need an Account Executive.
... and a System Admin.
... and an Asp.Net developer
... and a nap.
Its funny how my intentions were good. I wanted to start on this 2 days after the last meeting. I wanted to do this in Pennsylvania. I wanted to start on it Saturday morning. I even wanted to start on it this morning at 8am, then 10am, no 12pm, maybe 2pm?
I finally was freed up to start at 3pm, then I had to run into work for a 4pm meeting, back by 5:30pm.
Then the thoughts came in, man if you just started at 8am like you wanted to you'd be done now. You'd be able to kick back, rock out some more code, and go to bed at a cool 2am. Life would be good Luke.
So here I am mid-way. Not as bad off as I could be, not as good off as I want to be. Did I screw around the last two weeks? No. Too many fires. Every day a new fire and an new thing that requires attention. Did I screw around today? No. 8am, people are working and people call non-stop. Can't ignore the emergencies, or the day-to-day tasks. I need an Account Executive.
... and a System Admin.
... and an Asp.Net developer
... and a nap.